Gina Lawless Books

August 26, 2012

My Biological Clock

I often wonder if other people feel the pressure of time as I do. No, I’m not talking about how many eggs I have left (not many, I don’t think. I hope not anyway) but, the pressure of how many hours in a day to get something accomplished, before the day dies off. Then, ultimately how many days I have left before the batteries of my life expire.

I believe that I push myself way too hard. If I don’t, who will? As an independent author, I am pressured to get as many books out as I can before that clock stops. And in the race, I hope I am not sacrificing quality for quantity. I think the  revolution of independent authorship has changed exponentially over the course of the last ten years. Mostly, for the good.

  • How many books can I get out in a year?
  • How many words have I written today?
  • How many blog posts can I squeeze in this week?
  • How many people can I connect with in a day?
  • Did I feed my dog today? Oops, sorry Little Pug…here’s some bits of steak for my guilt!

I love writing. I’ve loved it since I was a young girl. There were no pressures in those days feeling like you’re going to live forever. The time has passed far too quickly for my tastes, and now that I’m nearing the downhill race, my OCD tendencies are getting the better of me. I had to give myself a little pep talk to look at the big picture. If I look at it through a microscope, it seems small and menial, that I haven’t accomplished anything thus far. If I can look at it through the mirror (my husband always tells me to mirror-image myself) it makes me feel accomplished. I said accomplished! Not satisfied!

More than likely, I won’t feel satisfied…ever. That aspect doesn’t need a pep talk. It needs a slap in the head!

The last few weeks, I’ve been working feverishly on The Veil, pressuring myself to a goal of finishing it by the end of fall on top of writing a sequel to Harbinger. The pep talk I gave myself was that even though I have put this goal in front of me, I can’t let the structure of the story suffer because of the time constraint. If I don’t have it finished, edited, covered, and published by the beginning of winter, am I to fire myself? Come on! Ease up, Jeez!

I was going through some old books I had bought over ten years ago, about Book Marketing. The rule of thumb back then was one book per year. It’s changed since the evolution of e-books, and independent publishing, and sometimes alarming to see how fast paced we have become in the last ten years. That’s me looking at the big picture. Now, it’s two, three or four books per year, just to get them out there! Unless, you have an arsenal of books already written, of course, which many independent authors have had, as did I.

This is my point. It took me anywhere from eight months to a year to write the books I have out now. Now, I am pressuring myself to a few months on The Veil? So, after my pep talk, I have decided to go for the quality aspect, and slow my pace on this endeavor. You cannot rush a thriller. So, I’m taking the batteries out of my biological clock.

Thanks for listening. I feel better now…tick-tick, tick tock

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2 Comments »

  1. Gina my dear, I feel your pain! I too, beat myself up on a daily basis, judging the quality of my day by the number of scratched out chores on my ‘To Do” list. It really infuriates me; I KNOW better than this. My mother, who passed away almost two years ago, kept telling me that I was rushing through life, missing the grandness and beauty, and that one day soon, I would wake up to realize that I was old. She repeatedly said, “These are the good old days”. Well if that’s true (and I believe it is), I need to put more quality in each and every one.

    If we view our success from a higher perspective, I think that we actually increase our chances dramatically if we maintain balance in our lives. And I mean that from the standpoint of ‘energy flowing’. When we’re frenetic and pressed and worn-out all the time, I believe it’s more difficult for our ‘good’ to find us. I’m rattling all this off like I’m someone to model your life after, but believe me, I’m NOT! Your post today has reminded me of that which I already know, but rarely act upon. On that note, I think I’ll go relax for a few minutes and have a glass of wine 🙂 Great post.

    Oh, and thanks for listing my blog as on you ‘genuinely like’! I love yours too, always interesting and thought-provoking.

    Comment by The Grand Master/Little Master Series — August 26, 2012 @ 8:00 pm | Reply

    • I am humbled by your comment, and certainly don’t view as you preaching to me. No, I need to know that other people have the same quirks as I do, only as a touchstone. It’s grounding to hear your views and makes me realize that there are real people behind these blogs with the same thoughts, feelings, problems and goals. We are all in this earth boat together, paddling with everything we’ve got.

      I swear, I was in my thirties just yesterday! Your mother was absolutely correct about that. What the heck happened? My energy flow was side tracked, I think. I MUST get back into meditation!!!

      Enjoy that glass of wine, and I hope Isaac isn’t causing you too much distress. And, you’re welcome. I really do enjoy your blog.

      Comment by Gina Lawless — August 26, 2012 @ 8:25 pm | Reply


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